The above title may not send me to the forefront of search engines. I am neither a sociologist nor anthropologist. I'll never understand how geologists and forensic paleontologists can tell one rock or bone from another. I did, however, interview the late anthropologist, Dr. Margaret Mead once. She was in Washington, D.C. for a World Health Organization conference when we arranged to meet at her hotel.

A legend in her late seventies, Margaret Mead had gone through three marriages like a hot knife through butter. The feisty anthropologist could charm you one minute, then lash out seconds later with some pretty colorful language. My boss had even warned me to wear a bulletproof vest.

Once I got over my initial jitters we settled into a somewhat congenial conversation about the reasons for her attendance at the conference: the status of women in Third World countries. By living with them, Mead had spent a lifetime studying child rearing and the role of women in primitive societies. Her first three books were Bestsellers: Eve"Coming of Age in Samoa," "Growing Up in New Guinea," and "Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies." At age nine, I'd discovered the latter among my older brother's books. Assuming I'd stumbled onto some torrid stuff to share with my pals, you can imagine the disappointment when reading Dr. Mead's textbook conclusions that young Samoan girls tended to have casual sex with men until the time they married. Considered shocking when she wrote it in the 1930s, it was no more scandalous than her own personal life.

Christian missionaries have since transformed most primitive peoples, at least on the surface. I say on the surface because we in the West tend to see things through our own lenses. Always the teacher, Mead told me, "No doctorate degree is going to teach you about any society or its people until you live, eat and sleep with them." Those who knew her would tell you she did all three.

We have only to look at examples of other cultures to know that Mead was right. When I lived in Nairobi, Kenya near the edge of a deep forest, I went to sleep at night to the sound of distant drums. Teenage circumcision of girls and boys was against the law. But everyone knew what the drums meant. Although their Harvard educated diplomats will deny it, these ceremonial rites persist in many African cultures.

In 17th century Japan, a Samurai lived by a strict code of honor and loyalty to his lord. Honor (and acquiring wealth) was what he lived and died for. As modern as we perceive Japan today through our limited Western lens, saving face, honor and loyalty remain fixed in the Japanese culture, as are numerous other mores.

Saving face is foremost in Eastern cultures. An Oriental will tell a Westerner what he thinks the Westerner wants to hear. He believes it is better to placate the stranger than to offend by displeasing him. A follower of Islam will do likewise. Anyone who has spent time in these countries knows this to be true. A follower of Islam comes from a tribal desert culture of antiquity. He will not dishonor his family or his tribe. Lebanese President Emile LaHud and his Prime Minister, Najib MIKATI, belong to an honor culture that adheres to saving face. The evidence is clear in the United States. Ever wonder why the American Islamic community is not more vocal about the "evil doers?" It's not because they condone wanton murder.

It is the job of Western diplomats to understand and work with diplomats of cultures foreign to them"to see through a different lens. How else can seemingly impossible solutions be obtained in an equitable manner? Equitable meaning, "you do this for me, I'll do that for you, not to you." Ever purchase a carpet in a Middle East bazaar? If you plunk down your money without haggling, they think you are a first class moron. First you sit and drink some mint tea; talk about your kids and the price of oranges. Incidentally, in order to settle an insult, the Samurai did their own tea thing before a major battle.

On the other hand, militant proxies like Hezbollah have no country and no rich culture. Under the guise of protectors of the innocent, they happily fall on their swords to take humanity back to the heady days of the Taliban. Hezbollah, Al Quaeda, Hamas and the rest of the alphabet soup are a disgrace to their ancestors and all true followers of true Islam. Whether poverty or hopelessness, whatever evil thing gives birth to terrorists is for another Margaret Mead to ponder.

The Europeans are good at giving advice when it serves their own interests, i.e. the French. But they're reluctant stick out their necks when the chips are down on the Lebanon/Israei border. The United Nations is a peacetime aid organization. The U.S. Administration is clueless. So where is the other tribal culture in all of this? I'm willing to bet that Israel would sit down in anyone's tent, once assured of the cease and desist of deluded fanatics who will settle for nothing less than their blood. It's difficult but not impossible to see through someone else's glasses. As the leader of the free world keeps telling us, "It's hard work."

"Simplicity-Courage-Humor-Soul"