Have you or do you know someone who has been abused or been involved in an abusive relationship? What is your definition of abuse? All of us know that physical violence is abuse. We also know there is emotional and mental abuse too, but do we know what it really is?

What counts as abuse?

I, myself have experienced physical, emotional, and mental abuse to different degrees. My family members and friends have suffered abuse from spouses and significant others, and in some cases even family members.

If you slap someone, that is abuse, and we know that. If you tell someone to shut up, is that abuse? Is it the tone of your voice or the conviction in which you say it, do those things make it abuse? Name calling is definitely a form of abuse.

Abuse breaks a person down bit by bit. Sometimes you don't make it back. Your self -esteem is gone, you become out of control yourselves, sometimes the victim becomes the abuser.

Abuse will affect the way you look at yourselves and others. I have been slapped, punched and kicked, my nose has been broken, I have lost a baby because of abuse, and that is just the physical form.

I have been in knock -down drag -out fights with men because I didn't agree with the way I was being treated and talked to. Because I wouldn't accept the bull that people throw at me. I have been called names, such as bitch and whore, because I didn't agree with a man, my opinion differed or because I was acting up, and because I made them jealous.

I got hit by a man (if you want to call him that) for the first time when I was 17 yrs old. You know what that did? It made me a fighter. I wouldn't back down, and I'll tell you I have had my ass kicked a few times, but I have also kicked some myself. Because NO man will ever lay a hand on me again and Noone is ever going to disrespect me and take away my spirit. They have tried, I am independent and I don't need a man that bad.

I would rather live the rest of my life alone, then with someone who disrespects me and hurts me. There is always hope, there is always a way out. Someone will listen, someone will help. Noone on this earth needs to be treated badly. We were not put here for other people to knock us around. We are all special people in God's eyes. We need to take care of each other, protect each other, do right by each other.

I have not been in an abusive relationship for years, I NEVER will be again. I am not afraid to face life alone, there is no need in anyone being that afraid. God Bless, and take care of each other, find happiness, everyone deserves that.

Vaughn Pascal

For God and Country

To God and Jesus; Thank you. To Bub and Doc; I love you.