Pow, youve just had a moment of clarity that illuminated your mind. Yep, youve had a light bulb moment.

But what do I mean by a light bulb moment?

A light bulb moment is what I classify as a life altering or changing moment that is so illuminating and powerful that you are changed forever by the light of recognition shining on what was before this, hidden, unknown or not realised.

Light bulb moments can be life altering. They can happen at any age, at any time and you may get many or only one in your lifetime. Ive been privileged to experience three in my 42 years.

Ill give you an example of my first one. At the age of 23 I had been constantly ill for many years. I had grown up in a home that was dysfunctional and abusive, both physically and emotionally, where trust, love and support did not flourish. I was emotionally abused, my parents were both heavy drinkers and I had grown up in a hurry. I learnt very early that if I, and my brother wanted to have something to eat at night Id have to learn how to cook.

As an adult, although I had had to grow up quickly, I was emotionally scarred and juvenile, suspicious, jealous and a total shrew when it came to my boyfriend. I was the sort of person who became a screaming banshee at the drop of a hat. Its not something Im proud of, but it happened, it became a part of who I was to become.

By the time my boyfriend and I became engaged, most people saw me as a hypochondriac. This made me very uncomfortable and confused, as I knew there was something wrong, just not what.

During the six months we were engaged I underwent two major operations, and spent nearly a month in hospital. The second operation was only six weeks before we were due to get married. During this time I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease, told it was incurable and felt very sorry for myself.

Being in hospital certainly gives you time to reflect. My future husband came every day to see me in hospital, no matter what he was doing. He came weekends and workdays just to be with me. I learnt many years later that he had made a decision himself to stay with me, but I didnt realise it at the time.

My light bulb moment came when the realisation hit me that here was a person who loved me no matter what. Sick or well, in sickness and in health as the wedding vows go. This man I was to marry loved me unconditionally and with all his heart, and I made a decision to let go of my insecurities, jealousies and the myriad other petty things that had been clogging my emotional system and just let them drift away.

Light bulb moments, clarity, realisations, they all lead to one thing, change. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink. You cant change things unless you own them, i.e. alcoholism, abusive behaviours, addictions. Mind over matter.

What matters is that the moment arrives when that clarity of thought becomes so intense that you do realise that change is possible.

Since that first light bulb moment, weve fought, bickered, had our ups and downs, but weve always fought our way through things. We communicate, we share things and we have developed our own unique way of doing things. The woman I was went out the window cold turkey and I became the woman I am today.