Are you finding that no matter how hard you try, you are not reaching your goals? Are you ready to enjoy a loving relationship, a successful career, a healthy and trim body, and prosperity?

Then close your eyes and imagine that you are in a beautiful air balloon ready to take off, to have what you want in your life. Now look towards the ground and notice if there are any ropes holding you down, stopping you from being free to fly.

In order to move on in your life, it is necessary to cut those ropesto overcome not your fears of failure but your fears of success. You may be as surprised as I was when I first discovered the fear of success. It seems illogical to push away the very things we desire.

However, my very first client opened my eyes to this fascinating phenomenon. In her counseling session, Betty told me that she desperately wanted her boyfriend to ask her to marry him.

I have a favorite saying, Close your eyes and see clearly. So I said, Betty, close your eyes and imagine that your boyfriend is proposing. How do you feel? Betty replied, Terrified! There it was; the first of many of my clues of the insidious fear of success.

John wanted to become president of his company. But felt scared when he visualized himself in that position. John was unaware that unconsciously he was afraid of the responsibility that comes with that role. The part of John that was afraid was sabotaging him from moving on in his career.

After working with many clients, I am convinced that we are very powerful beings. I never have to help people to become successful. All I need to do is to help them to be aware of and overcome their unconscious fears, and then they effortlessly fulfill their dreams. Once they cut the ropes that were tying them down, they suddenly meet their perfect mate, or are offered the job or promotion they were seeking. For the first time in their lives, they find losing weight to be effortless. They heal their bodies, and allow themselves to receive the money they need. They let go of their addictions and take control of their lives.

We are unique, but our problems are not. See if you recognize any of your fears, your blocks to success, so that you can overcome them and experience the exhilaration of flying free in your air balloon.

The SEVEN FEARS OF SUCCESS are:

1. Fear of the unknown. I dont know what it would be like to be in a loving relationship or successful career.

2. Fear that success doesnt fit your self image. Whats a poor girl from Brooklyn doing in an exclusive social club in California?

3. Fear that people will not like you if you are successful. If Im successful in my career, no man will want me.

4. Fear that you dont deserve success. I feel guilty because I once stole money from my parents.

5. Fear that success has a scary consequence. If I get the promotion, I wont have enough time to spend with my family.

6. Fear that your parents wont love you if youre more successful than they are. I dont want my father to feel bad.

7. Fear that to be successful is to fulfill your parents wishes. Im angry at them for not showing me enough attention when I was a kid. Ill show themI wont have a successful career.

To my amazement, these last two fears concerning the parents kept coming up in the office, even though sometimes Mom and Dad were deceased for many years. Our fears, like all of our emotions, can be very irrational. However, they are still very real and definitely affect our lives. Most people think they are struggling with the fear of failure, which I have found to be only the top of the iceberg. The unconscious fear of success is at the bottom, the part we dont see that hurts us the most.

For example, Bob, a young engineer, was angry at his boss for not delegating him more responsibility. Under all that anger was fear; he was afraid he wasnt smart enough to do the job. I asked Bob to go back to the time when he made the decision that he was dumb. Bob recalled an incident when he was four years old, and needing his grandfathers help to tie his shoes. The little boy felt he had to act stupid in order to gain the extra attention. The decision Bob had made, If Im intelligent, I wont get attention, followed him into adult life. Bob recognized his fear of success and made a new decision, Im intelligent and I get enough attention. At the next counseling session Bob smiled as he told me how his boss was giving him more responsibility.

The fear of success comes up very often in relationships. We meet someone special and we start getting close, too close. Suddenly we begin finding fault with each other. Her nose is too big. Hes too short. We become demanding and start arguments. We make commitments and break them. We drive each other crazy. We say, Come close, I want to love you and share my life with you. But stay away because Im afraid. Im afraid to be vulnerable and feel hurt. Im afraid I dont deserve to be happy. Im afraid Im unlovable.

Susan, a twenty-six-year-old attractive blond, was in tears as she told me how much she wanted to be married. However, all the men in her life kept leaving her. Susan regressed back to the time when she was five years old and devastated because her father moved out of their house. Since children feel responsible for everything that happens, Susan decided from that experience that she was unlovable, and that men she loves leave her. Ironically, the men in her adult life kept leaving her, actualizing her self-fulfilling prophesy. Susan succeeded in healing her inner child and realized the truththat she is lovable, and that men she loves will stay with her. With those new positive thoughts in her unconscious mind, she began to attract more successful relationships.

Male clients had similar fears that were sabotaging their relationships. They also had the additional concern about taking on the responsibility of the financial commitment a marriage may entail. They were relieved when they discovered that they were okay even if their wife helped with their finances, and even if their wives earned more money than they did.

Clients taught me that often our illness and accidents are a result of the fear of success.

Mary discovered that she often got sick in elementary school because she was very bright and the kids rejected her. By missing many classes, her grades dropped and she was more accepted by her peers. Mary was shocked when she realized that she was still following the same pattern in her adult life.

Are you also feeling safe but not satisfied?

If you are ready to be all that you are and have what you desire, then close your eyes and imagine that you are in your beautiful air balloon. Feel the weights of the fears of success dropping off easily so that you can take off. Look below and notice the beautiful green meadow, the majestic mountains in the distance, and the peaceful blue sky filled with puffy white clouds. Notice that you are free to fly!

(Excerpts from the tape and book, Free to FlyDare To Be A Success and the e-book: Seven Major Keys to Success)

1997 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family, Therapist, speaker, and author. http://www.helenerothschild.com